Words of Wisdom
I’m shamelessly copying a letter from this week’s “Dear Prudie” column on Slate. It’s just too good not to pass on. And I hope it makes us all feel a little better about our mother-in-laws.
Dear Prudence,
I’m getting married in a few months, and the preparation has gone smoothly, except for one detail. For the cake, we are limited to certain flavors because I have allergies to some common ingredients, including a severe reaction to chocolate. My fiance’s mother and sisters flew into a hissy about it when they found out. I was bombarded with almost daily demands that I choose a chocolate cake. Not even my bridal party could convince dear mother-in-law that it was out of the question. My fiance told them that ingesting even a little chocolate could put me in the hospital. But they say the cake is “for the guests” and that I’m being too controlling. Now my future mother-in-law and her daughters have said that they will refuse to enjoy the wedding without a “decent chocolate cake.” I fear how these women will act toward me once I’m family. How can I pacify this impending riot?
—Chocophobe
Dear Chocophobe,
I admire you for resisting the temptation to order chocolate cupcakes for them and put strychnine in the frosting. Ah, a case where the bride is behaving normally, while those around her are demanding monsters! This gruesome group takes the cake and sounds like something out of the Brothers Grimm. Maybe they want to be the first on their block to have the wedding reception segue into a funeral cortege. Mother-in-law and her daughters are free to dislike the wedding and make themselves look like a bunch of brats having a tantrum. The best weddings always feature insane antics so the guests have something to talk about on the ride home. The way you deal with them now, and in the future, is to serenely float above their ridiculous demands. If the cake question comes up again, just say with a smile, “Myrna, I understand how you feel about chocolate, but we won’t be having it at the wedding, so there’s no point in our discussing it further.”
—Prudie
